And such.

Excuses excuses AP testing Facebook excuses blah finals blah.

That about sums it up for the past month!

I'm supposed to be studying for my English final tomorrow morning and/or getting started on my gigantic chem lab writeup, not talking to random friends-of-friends-who-became-my-new-best-friend-within-twenty-minutes on the newly discovered Facebook or writing a blog post.

Causal analysis. Key characteristics. Right.

All this studying makes me want to watch Moulin Rouge again. Yes, I do have justification - that's what we watched in our "studying film as literature" unit (along with Twelve Angry Men, which I surprisingly enjoyed), and since I have to study names of shots and camera angles and such, I think I should see some real-life examples, amirite?

Yes. Of course I am.

I'm also thinking of getting a tumblr. You know, for all the random, depressing thoughts I get when I'm up at 12:45 AM trying to finish chem or just wasting time staring at a blank Firefox window.

But I'm enough of a narcissist already, so maybe I won't.

(On an unrelated note, I just got a Facebook two weeks ago and oh my goodness you guys it is so cool. I've been missing out, apparently, although honestly, I think I only would've benefited if I'd made mine a few months earlier. Anytime before that, I would've just been sad and boring.)

I am a list person.

So I decided to make a list of thirty awkward moments - not necessarily the MOST awkward moments. Just thirty different awkward moments. That's all.

...yeah, I don't know why, either. ANYWAY.

***

1. When everyone else is dancing and you're the only person standing there awkwardly because you can't dance without resembling a chicken with its head cut off.

2. When you yell something really, really suggestive right as a teacher walks by.

3. When you're sitting on the ground and a person comes and stands in front of you and goes "Uh... you're kinda... blocking my locker."

4. Especially when you used to be friends with the person, but have since stopped talking to them. Voluntarily.


5. When you're shouting about something ridiculous and flapping your arms like a head case, and then you turn around and a random person is staring at you like you're insane.

6. When you tell your friends a story that you think is hilarious, and they just stare blankly.

...

Not that any of those have happened to me or anything.

***

7. When you're sitting in the back of the classroom and you drop something and it makes a loud noise, and every single person in the room turns around and stares at you.

8. When you want to give someone something you don't want to parade around the entire world, but then someone else walks over and stands right next to you. And stays there.

9. Randomly swearing loudly in the middle of chem lab when you realize you forgot something important.

Heh.

When I published that last post, there was a little ad that said "Add Reactions to the bottom of your post!" and explained what "Reactions" were.

...

I'm suddenly tempted to change mine to "acid-base," "redox," and "precipitation."

Shut up, I'm a chem nerd. I find this kind of thing funny.

I will survive, I will surviiiiive

YES. I HAVE DONE IT.

I HAVE TAKEN THE AP CHEMISTRY TEST... AND SURVIVED.

How did I do it?

I have no clue.

...

Just kidding. It was probably a combination of practice tests, AP books (the Princeton Review one is great, if anyone was wondering), randomly timed panic sessions (including one that occurred in the middle of watching Water for Elephants... yeah, that was interesting), and not passing out from hyperventilation two minutes before the test started. Plus some other stuff, like staying awake in class all year.

All my brain juice has been used up for the day, so I'll post more later.

On the bright side, if anyone needs AP Chem help, I have achieved official stud status.

No life. Just studying.

No time to post properly - I have the AP Chem test in two days. TWO. DAYS.

I'll probably be back tomorrow with some panicked, incoherent keyboard-slamming.

Now excuse me while I go study my organic compounds.

"'Ester' sounds like 'Easter,' and on Easter, you eat a lot and get REALLY FAT, so there are a lot of atoms in esters!"

Procrastination and deprivation

Sleep deprivation, that is. My group of friends has one and only motto that we live by:

We are AP students! We do not sleep! Studying comes first! Health and personal hygiene and everything else goes second!

...yeah. BECAUSE THE AP CHEM TEST IS IN TWO WEEKS HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO LIVE A "NORMAL" LIFE We really don't have lives, do we? (No.)

***

Also:

Nightshade: So not fair. When I have kids, they're going to be BILINGUAL
Nightshade: and AWESOME
Janepage: My kids are going to be super amazing!
Nightshade: Ikr? I will have studly little children
Nightshade: Meeheeheeheehee
Janepage: AND THEY SHALL BE NAMED AFTER FRUITS

I refrained from putting the next bit, due to stalkerphobia issues with our real names, but it included coming up with random fruits paired with our last names. Also, my first two children are going to be Pineapple and Kumquat, and hers are going to be Watermelon and... Melon. I suppose.

Poor, poor children who are someday cursed to have us two as mothers. They'll never know what hit them.

YOU SEE, MOTHER. THIS IS WHY WE ARE BEST FRIENDS. I do not lie.

I'm supposed to be asleep in ten minutes, but...

...I just had to post this. I had to.

[10:48:53 PM] Me: also, going to bed now.
[10:49:11 PM] Me: tell your friends that i say goodbye!
SO LONG
FAREWELL
AUF WIEDERSEN GOODBYE
[10:49:19 PM] Me: THE SUN HAS GONE TO BED AND SO HAVE I
[10:49:24 PM] Me: GOODBYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
[10:49:28 PM] Janepage: FINE.
[10:49:29 PM] Me: good... BYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
[10:49:31 PM] Janepage: BYE.
[10:49:37 PM] Me: ...
[10:49:44 PM] Janepage: :P
[10:49:45 PM] Me: i'm trying to think of some other way to say goodbye
[10:49:50 PM] Me: but all i can see is jake's skype status
[10:49:55 PM] Me: PARTYING PARTYING PARTYING YEAH
[10:50:04 PM] Me: and
[10:50:06 PM] Me: like
[10:50:18 PM] Me: AND PLEASE BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAAAAY IIIIIIII LOOOOOVE YOOOOUUUUU
[10:50:33 PM] Me: ...and neither of those are really good for saying goodbye
[10:50:44 PM] Janepage: ...ok

It's spectacular [spectacular]

SEE WHAT I DID THERE?

No? Okay.

WARNING: The rest of the post will consist of one blogger ranting insanely about a certain movie she watched recently. Earplugs are provided to your left. [WAVES HANDS TO LEFT] Please be careful of flying capital letters - they sometimes spontaneously combust. Not to worry; we have also provided fire extinguishers and have a team of expert waterbenders on speed dial.

...

OKAY FANGIRL SESSION STARTS NOW.

We're doing a film analysis unit in my English class and last week, we were informed that we would be watching Moulin Rouge! and 12 Angry Men (in that order). I had absolutely no clue what either of the films was about, so I went in with an open mind (although I admit I was slightly wary of the Boring In-Class Movie trap. Looking at you, Henry V).

In case you haven't seen it, the first twenty minutes or so of Moulin Rouge are completely and utterly ridiculous. In short: it contains a crossdressing dwarf, a spirited rendition of the Sound of Music title song (the hiiiiiiiills are aliiiiiive, etc.), and the lines "Suddenly, an unconscious Argentinian fell through my ceiling" and "LOVE IS LIKE OXYGEN!", along with a drug-induced dancing fairy and a neon-colored strip club cancan place (the Moulin Rouge).

After that, fortunately, the main storyline picks up, so it's not entirely insane. If you haven't seen it: It's a love story. About a writer and a cancan dancer. AND IT WAS AMAZING.

aklejr h;jkaerjk; yakl;je klrjhglkakweh tkj34a wgklfsjdflllllllll

And the interesting thing is, I don't usually like romantic movies. I find them bland and a bit pointless without a bigger plot to carry the romance. (As you might guess, I pretty much hate romcoms and chick flicks and the like.) I prefer intense action/fiery explosions/insane visual effects/laugh-until-oxygen-fails-you comedy. Moulin Rouge is mainly a romance, but it has the advantage of also being hilarious, suspenseful, and (sometimes) depressing.

AND IT'S A MUSICAL.

DARN YOU iTUNES AND YOUR INABILITY TO PURCHASE INDIVIDUAL SONGS INSTEAD OF THE ENTIRE ALBUM YOU HAVE FORCED ME TO YOUTUBE The music's pretty amazing, too. Now, every time I hear it, I start grinning like an idiot and can't stop for about forty minutes after the song ends. [DREAMY FANGIRL SIGH]

So watch it. NOW.

Disclaimer: Moulin Rouge! is PG-13, and it takes place in a cancan theater (is that the right term?), which is basically the equivalent of an 1899 strip club. If you're worried about Things That Are Not Rated G, you should probably skip this one. There's no actual, ahem, "adult content," and you have to take into consideration the setting, but still. Just in case.

No point.

I feel like I should post something on here just to keep the blog alive and well, though I don't have much to say. Again.

Except maybe that I'm trying to digitally color a drawing I did and I get the feeling it's going to fail miserably... ah, well. Everyone has to start somewhere, and that "somewhere" is the Land of Failure and Suckishness.

Thankfully, people improve. (Erm, hopefully.) Even I, the worst artist ever (a combination of laziness, busyness, and general lack of talent is never good), have actually IMPROVED over time. Amazing, I know, but it's true. I look at stuff I uploaded to deviantART almost a year ago and cringe at the horror. I'm tempted to take it down and pretend it never happened, but I think it serves as a nice testament to some semblance of artistic improvement. Or something.

***

Sometimes this blog feels like one giant, raging, bubbling cesspool of narcissism. Who cares about what I think? Who cares about what I write? Who cares about the random, mundane, finer points of my life?

Maybe it's because I want to better myself as a writer, improve my (negligible) skill with words, et cetera. But what am I talking about? Myself. Nothing of global importance or national importance or anyone-that-isn't-me importance. I just keep rambling and rambling and expect people to read this and actually care.

How many pronouns have I used that are "I," "me," "my," or "mine"? Too many.

I expect someday I'll catch sight of my reflection in a nice, clear pool in the forest, and I'll fall madly in love with myself and eventually be turned into a flower by sympathetic higher forces.

In which the blogger brags about her amazing friends

Because, you know, they're completely and utterly awesome. Seriously, did funnier people ever exist? I think not.

And also, they give really good hugs.

But even if funnier people did exist, I bet they didn't make math jokes - 

"Okay, guys, let's be rational-"
"No! Never! We are not rational! We are irrational! We are PI!!"

- or come up with such eloquent answers to scientific questions -

"How have you increased the entropy of the universe today? Walking, eating, breathing-"
"BLINKING!"

- or made such a declaration as... um. I'm not really sure how to describe this.

"Today is not yesterday. Today is TODAY."

Yes, we are AP students. I promise.

In which the blogger has nothing to say

...beyond the topic of procrastination.

O, Procrastination. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I'm procrastinating on my massive twenty-percent-of-my-grade theology paper, procrastinating on writing my book, procrastinating on coloring that Tangled doodle I did last night, procrastinating on asking my friend who he went to Sadie's with everything about life except maybe reading A Tale of Two Cities...

OH. OH. SEE, I DO HAVE SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT.

Oh my goodness, I hit the local Borders last night (they're closing! AAAAAGGGHHHHH) and I wanted to get Tale of Two Cities and Sense and Sensibility (or Pride and Prejudice, or both). I ended up getting the TRON: Betrayal graphic novel (which is amazing), A Tale of Two Cities, and Great Expectations, which was paired with it.

They had seven copies of Great Expectations and ZERO of A Tale of Two Cities. How messed up is that?

But anyway, I read the cover flaps for both, and Great Expectations sounded better... but I was told that TOTC was amazing and besides, that was my entire reason for getting the mega-book, so I started reading that first.

It's divided into three parts - Book the First, Second, and Third - and Book the First was blekjalskjglkawsjgtBORING. I SparkNote'd the summary because I had no idea what I was reading.

And then I got to Book the Second.


And then Sydney Carton came in, who is the sexiest fictional drunk to ever grace the literary world absolutely amazing.


...


AHHHHHHHHHHHHH MUST KEEP READING. I got so bored when it switched to Monsieur Whatshisface and Charles Darnay, dirty little spy. GO BACK TO FRANCE AND STAY THERE. And stop jacking up my Sydney Carton scenes.

That's all for now. Need moar Sydney.

AAAARRRRGGGHHHHHH

I must rant. I give you two options, readers:

A) Run away now, or
B) Stay and listen to seemingly obscure complaints that only writers would understand (maybe)

Anyone up for choice A? Yes? No? Mayhap? Your time is now. I'll wait.

...

...

...

You've had enough. RANTING TIME.

So at the end of theology a day or two ago, we had ten minutes to do Whatever We Wanted (Not Including Killing Each Other With a Desk and a Pencil), so I grabbed a random sheet of paper and started noveling, as I am wont to do whenever there's spare time at the end of class (or if the lesson is particularly easy and/or boring, because then I just write during class anyway).

I had the beginning of an idea for a bit near the end of my book, after the climax and after they returned to a hero's welcome and what-have-you, and up until then I hadn't had any ideas for that part at all, so I was considerably excited (being a writing nerd and all).

All was well until I glanced over and realized that THIS GUY WHO SITS NEXT TO ME WAS READING OVER MY SHOULDER AAAGGGHOAJSHRG JAJER;A OAEKRJ GOAOR.

AAAARRRGGGHHHH I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS. It didn't help that he was actually quite attractive, either. Whenever people do that, I always get paranoid and crazily self-conscious about whatever I'm writing. Formal essays are fine, emails are a little awkward but still okay, comments I post on SparkLife and things are a little weirder but I guess it's fine, but original fiction? HNNGBLARGEKNAKJ LA;ASKJDDDD.

So I just started writing more and more messily until it was entirely illegible, and then I stopped altogether under the guise of checking the time (the clock is in the back of the room).

I hope he doesn't think I'm completely insane. He makes a good partner when our teacher tells us to get into little groups, because he does the work and actually qualifies as a Decent and Friendly Human Being (because everyone else is either a jerk, an idiot, or paired off).

Ack.

Oh.

I think maybe I lost all my blog followers because I didn't post anything for like a MONTH out of sheer laziness/forgetfulness.

Also, I almost just spelled "forgetfulness" wrong.

WHY IS MY LIFE BECOMING SUCH A FAILURE?

--

In other news...there is no other news. The most exciting thing that's happened in a week is the re-discovery of my carrot hat, which I wore for Halloween when I was four years old.

Yes. I was a giant carrot. A giant, adorable carrot. You know you love it.

--

I decided to write five thousand words a week of my book until it's finished. That...probably won't happen, considering I'm supposed to get through seven hundred words today and it's 7:30 and I have written ZERO. Because I'm lazy. And tired. And I had a chem test today so that automatically excuses me from everything else.

Yeah.

To make up for the lack of content in this post, I shall now feature a picture of a dog that looks like the dog I used to have (except my dog was way, way cuter, I swear).

YES I AM ADORABLE LOOK AT MY FACE AND BAWWWWW.

 Actually, I'm pretty sure I have a real picture of her (taken with Photo Booth, but whatever). Maybe I'll try to find that one...

EDIT: YES I FOUND IT.

AHHHHH THE CUTENESS BURNS

YES SHE IS COMPLETELY ADORABLE. It's not a very good pic, considering the blurriness and general overall lameness, but still.

I miss that dog.

OH HO HO.

I think I have an idea for a SparkLife column. >:D

Rolling.

Yes, that was meant to sound wrong.

ANYWAY.

So I got this lovely comment from the amazingly hilarious jtjuvenile (DIDIGETYOURNAMERIGHT? Or should I call you Jessica instead?) and thought it would be a nice opportunity to procrastinate write a new blog post!

"You can't roll your "R"s? Time for some palm contact, 'cause I can't either. *five*"

Why, no, I cannot. I am for some reason completely incapable of making that funny little R noise with my tongue.  My mom and sister in particular have attempted to teach me countless times, but nothing works. I'm just a failure. Is this something that can be taught? Because while I can't roll my R's, I can't properly imitate my friend's accent and the amazing way she says "hamburger" when she's really excited. (When she gets excited, her accent gets thicker.)

But that's okay because in the meantime, while I'm failing, I get to talk to my friend and he'll sit there rolling his R's smugly while I pseudo-glare and concentrate really hard on are his eyes really as blue as everyone says they are? (Because my friend just told me that and I never paid attention, dangit. I should have a long time ago. Like, last year. But whatever.) (Perhaps I should change my mental status from "I don't know if I like him or not" to "Yeah I kinda already do." Because I think my subconscious already changed it for me.)

I think maybe I should decide soon, because in the meantime it's kind of awkward to glare at a certain name in my list of online Skype contacts and think very angry questions concerning his whereabouts during seventh period, during which he's usually in the library panicking about chem with the rest of us.


(LOL THIS IS SO CLICHE WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME)

I think maybe I'll hide this post later on, when my hormones stop flailing around like I just chugged an entire can of Monster. Not that I have ever done that. (Seriously, I actually haven't.)

Oh.

I realize I have been horribly neglectful to this blog.

Notice how the orange coordinates with my blog theme. *gestures wildly*

Not much has been happening, unfortunately, except for a few memorable Skype conversations and one particularly hilarious seventh period (which was only on Tuesday). It mainly consisted of:

- Finishing the chem lab in a panicked hurry
- Procrastinating on finishing the chem lab, even though it was due in ONE HOUR OMG
- My friends discovering I couldn't roll my R's, and then flaunting their prowess at rolling aforementioned consonants
- Laughing so hard we couldn't breathe
- A slight inability to hear, on account of my cold ("slight" meaning "if you whisper you look like you are just moving your lips for no particular reason"), which was inconvenient because we were in the library
- A lot of other stuff that was "you had to be there" inside-jokey material

So yeah. I'll start posting more often.

Because I can't stand the thought of ever forgetting this.

Because this is what best friends are FOR, people. Unedited except for names.

We abuse caps lock. DEAL WITH IT.


[talking about an impending book club for elementary schoolers]

Night: Lol OKAY GUYS WE ARE READING "IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE"
Night: BECAUSE
Janepage: YESH
Night: IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE
Night: IT WILL WANT SOME MILK
Night: AND YOU MUST KNOW
Night: HOW TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION
Janepage: SCOTCH TAPE!
Night: IT COULD CHANGE YOUR LIIIIIFEEEEE

***

Janepage: Just nudge me if I go off about asylums or burning houses

***

[after posting a long line of animated emo smilies]
Night: AN ARMY OF EMOS
Night: THEY ALL HAIRFLIP IN SYNC
Night: omg if their hair was lighter
Night: THEY WOULD BE BIEBER CLONES
Janepage: AHHHHHHHHHH!
Night: LIKE
Night: IF THE BIEBS DYED HIS HAIR BLACK
Night: HE'D BE AN EMO
Night: HE HAS THE SKINNY JEANS AND EVERYTHING
Janepage: ...ew
Night: ...
Night: he's gross enough, no need to pile on more nasty
Night: irritating little helmethead >>

***

Night: lol we just spent like 10 minutes googling ferraris and lambos bc she saw one on the street and wanted to know what kind it was
Night: she thought it was a ferrari, but it wasn't
Night: and now i am staring at pictures of disgustingly expensive cars
Night: HELLO MA'AM WOULD YOU LIKE TO DRIVE YOUR CONDO OR LIVE IN IT?
Janepage: Hahahahahaha!!!!!
Night: It was actually kind of scary
Night: WOULD YOU LIKE THE $221000 MODEL OR THE $382000 ONE
Janepage: THE EXPENSIVE ONE BETTER COME WITH 300 PUPPIES
Night: YES
Night: IT SHOULD
Janepage: OH YES
Night: INDEED
Night: I SHALL WRITE A PETITION TO LAMBORGHINI
Night: TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
Night: INCLUDE 300 PUPPIES IN YOUR MAHFGOLJAK MODEL
Night: BECAUSE IF ANYONE PAYS THAT MUCH MONEY FOR A METAL BOX WITH RUBBER WHEELS
Night: THEY SHOULD GET 300 PUPPIES


***

Seriously, guys, look at this sucker. Have you ever seen anything so grotesquely expensive yet awesome? I THINK NOT.

Nightshade is not impressed

Why does this bother me so much?

If you're too lazy to click on the link, it's a Yahoo article about how some things are becoming increasingly obscure, and how babies born in 2011 won't know about these things when they grow up. They do have some good points - in my experience, fax machines go often unused, and dial-up Internet and encyclopedias aren't frequented - but some of this stuff is seriously ticking me off.



"Talking to one person at a time: Remember when it was rude to be with one person while talking to another on the phone? Kids born today will just assume that you're supposed to use texting to maintain contact with five or six other people while pretending to pay attention to the person you happen to be physically next to."

No. Just...no. If someone is in the middle of holding a conversation with me and they answer their phone (for a reason other than a very practical one, such as letting their mother know that they need to be picked up at 4:30, not 4:00), I immediately lose a fair amount of respect for them. If I'm not interested in talking to someone, I will not inform them of this by ignoring them and texting someone else. No matter who you're speaking to, that is so unbelievably, explicitly rude that I honestly can't believe people have the nerve to do that.

I don't care if they wave a hand and say "Oh, it's fine, just pick up, I'm okay with it;" it's not fine, and they're not okay with it. They were in the middle of speaking to you, and obviously they were willing to invest time and energy in speaking to you, so why would they suddenly drop you like a potato sack? Call me old-fashioned, but I still hold on to that old tradition - you know, the one where you actually give your friends the time of day and pay them the proper attention and respect that they deserve.




"Books, magazines, and newspapers: Like video tape, words written on dead trees are on their way out. Sure, there may be books -- but for those born today, stores that exist solely to sell them will be as numerous as record stores are now."

I think I can safely say that this is the one thing that people say about writing that ticks me off the most.

Let me say this loud and clear: Books are not useless. They are not fading into obscurity; they are not being replaced by the digital world. The text of the books may also be available in digital form, that's true, and I'm not ashamed to admit that yes, it's very convenient.

But nothing can replace the smell of ink and paper, the brush of pages falling through your fingers, the lines of letters marching across the page to form imagination personified. Nothing in the world can take away the magic of holding a book in your hands. Whether it be new or old, read once or reread a thousand times, in mint condition or battered and loved, a book is still a book. That simple stack of papers holds the key to the universe. It keeps you sane. It gives you hope. And best of all, it inspires more stories to be written into more books that can be printed on more paper and stacked on more shelves, for more readers to pick up and riffle through so they can start the cycle of ideas all over again.

So don't you dare tell me that books are becoming obscure. On the day that books become completely obsolete; on the day that there is not a single person in this entire world that will give even a scrap of attention, a second of their precious, hurried time, to that bundle of paper sitting quietly on a shelf, waiting for you to pick it up and indulge yourself in its story; at the time when humans become even more stupid and ignorant and blind to the beauty of the written words right in front of their eyes: that is the day that I will say I am wrong.

WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN.

HAPPY 2011, BLOGGERS! YASJFKLAWEJ TLAJR LTKJAW;4 TJOI4J TALEJRG;JAERJ85YO58Y OES

Ahem.

I can't believe it's 2011. What the heck is this? Where did 2010 go? It disappeared, guys. WE HAVE TO FIND IT.

In the meantime, I'll be at Disneyland on Monday. Not going back to school till Wednesday! YES.