IDEAS?!

As you all know, my life during the month of November consisted entirely of WRITING WRITING WRITING WRITING. I did not, unfortunately, remember to check SparkLife on a regular basis, as was my custom. Since I didn't do this, I missed the announcement regarding the new Never Been Kissed columnists AND the offer for new columnists to send in ideas.

This sucks for a number of reasons.

1) I could totally write a Never Been Kissed column. I've never been kissed. Or had a boyfriend. Or been on a date. Or been asked out. Or liked. (Except maybe that one time, and that other time, and possibly last December.)
2) I have ZERO TIME to think of a column idea and send it in.

Seriously, how awesome would it look on my track record if I could say, instead of just doing one measly semester publication for my English class, I write an entire column for SparkLife? (It would be extremely, insanely, excruciatingly awesome. Trust me.)

So, fellow Sparklers and spazzers and bloggers: Got any ideas for a column? My feeble mind-ramblings include things related to:

~Writing [fiction]
~Writing [a novel, which I am currently doing]
~Chemistry
~Nerdiness in general
~Disneyland
~Ideas for lazy Saturdays

Actually, I kinda like that last idea. My friends and I come up with countless ideas to do over the summer, or over Christmas break, or next weekend, or for our birthdays... but we never have the time to do it, and no one else ever knows about our lovely ideas. For a column, I could offer up a fun/insane/completely idiotic and time-wasting way to kill time on a boring day (or even between classes when you have seven minutes before class and no one to talk to). I'll even make sure to toss in some stuff that will NOT make you eligible for expulsion from your school and/or a life sentence!

Or I could do a thing about Disneyland. I know how to make the most out of Fastpasses, what shows are worth waiting for, how long is too long for a line, how to properly Disneyland-walk (much more challenging than hallway-walking), shortcuts through obscure areas, random bits of trivia... but that might not appeal to everyone, because not everyone lives in southern California. Heck, there are Sparklers from all over the world. Why would they care about one little strip of land in Orange County?

Not sure how either will work out - what if I run out of ideas? What if people think the ideas are lame? What if I'm not funny?

And here's where you guys come in. Do you think that's a good idea? Any suggestions to improve the idea or for a different column? Reply STAT!

At least we're not animal abusers.

Uncensored except for the names.

me: ...idk why i just remembered this but when i went to italy we were sitting around eating crepes and watching pigeons
me: and then i saw this couple buying crepes from the stand
me: and i would've thought it was cute
me: except they were like 13 o_o
me: AH, EUROPE
THE CONTINENT/GEOGRAPHIC REGION OF LOOOOOOVE
[friend]: omg
[friend]: when we go to italy
[friend]: we are buying crepes
[friend]: okay?!
me: OMGYES!!!
me: crepes crepes crepes
me: ...oh wait maybe that was in france, not italy
me: bc france has the crepes >>
[friend]: also our fail temperature brought the average class temperature up 0.4C
[friend]: lol
me: LOLNICE
[friend]: we're like global warming
me: HAHAHAHAHAHA
[friend]: except we kind of suck more
me: ...
me: but we're not killing polar bears

The voice of failure

I didn't win.

(Non-emo posting will resume shortly. I promise.)

DVDs and word counts

And today, in breaking news:

• I got The Last Airbender on DVD! YAAAAAY. The outtakes are completely hilarious. It has a ton of clips of people A) dancing, B) running into things, and C) dancing some more.
• I'm only 11,445 words behind on my NaNo. Ack. o_O
• But that means I'm at 28,545 words and it's only 6:13! WOO!
• If I don't win NaNo, I will fail at life.

No screencap because I'm busy juggling Write or Die (best anti-procrastination site ever, btw) and Skyping my friend. SO! Faretheewell, fellow bloggers.

Quotes of the week

Just wasting time thought you very few readers might enjoy a couple random things I've heard around in the past week or so. :)

***

"Good news! I'm getting better at drawing! Bad news! All over my homework."

"If I do this, will it make you feel better, or will it just make it awkward because you're not wearing any pants?"

"Come on! I think you're short enough to ride the tire swing! And if they ask, you're fourteen, okay?"

"Here, hold this. It'll be your man-purse."
"No! It's a SATCHEL!"

"On a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it be if I went over and sat on him right now?"
"THREE POINT ONE FOUR ONE FIVE NINE! Nah, just kidding. More like nine point two zero zero seven eight."

"I went out to go play on the Wii and I was going to play Disney Princess Enchanted Journey, but I ended up playing [Super Smash Brothers] Brawl instead."

"Nathan! I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT!"

"So Robert and Silver are in the kitchen and there's only one cookie left... what happens? DEATH."

"When I grow up, I will have a pet hamster and I will name him Garbanzo so I can call him Garbo for short. Garbo Garbo."

***

I just realized that like 60 percent of those are from my Disneyland trip on Friday with two of my friends. I'm pretty sure that was the most interesting time I'll ever have there... unless, of course, Paige comes along and makes it even MORE interesting. Meh heh heh.

VICTORY IS MINE (partially)

YES! YES! YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESSSSSSS!!!!

THE HALFWAY MARKER IS MINE! MMMMMIIIIIIIIIINNNNNEEEEEEE!!

If this is spazzy, I don't even want to see what happens if I actually win.

WORD COUNT

OH YEAHHHHHHHH

Stereotypical.

I will never stereotype football players ever again.

Earlier today I helped in the Writing Center after school let out for the day. The Writing Center (which I will not abbreviate to W.C., thankyouverymuch) is this place run by honors English students where people can take their essays and get them revised by one of us.

It was almost time to close it up. A few people were finishing up their revisions and my English teacher was sitting on a desk, talking to a student about his Macbeth essay. A couple other guys had the same teacher/essay prompt, so they all started discussing it (in an epically English-nerdy and awesome way, I may add). Apparently, one of the essay prompts was broad and confusing. My teacher said that the question was basically "Is Macbeth controlled by the witches' fate, or is he responsible for his own actions?" They could argue that it was 1) just the witches' fate, 2) just Macbeth, or 3) a bit of both.

The first guy, who was reading off his essay rubric, said he thought it was a little of both. The second guy, a slightly dorky student who was getting his essay revised by my teacher, asked the third guy what he thought. The third guy was sitting up on the teacher's stool. He was... okay, I don't want to sound racist or judgmental, but he looked like a big African-American football player jock-type.

"I said it was a little of both, too. Actually, I thought that the witches instigated the motivation in him, [then Macbeth was responsible after that]."

Yep, that was his answer. Perfectly casual, completely serious.

Congratulations, dude. You just beat the system without even realizing it.

Late-night posting, Part III

I'm awesome at keeping promises, aren't I? "No more late-night posting!" Yeah, it's kinda 12:29 AM.

Whatever.

Today consisted mostly of a golf tournament (I had to be at my school at six-freaking-fifteen this morning) and then the rest is a blur of procrastination and frantic studying for chem. Yet in between the blurs, I've heard some really, REALLY weird stuff today (and for the past few days). Just thought you might find this entertaining (although it's no double rainbow).

***

ELIZABETH: "You should invite him to come to Disneyland with us!"
ME: "Okay. Why?"
ELIZABETH: "Because he knows things."

ME: "Oh, and she said she met 'The Situation.'" [MAKES AIR QUOTES]
DAD: "The Situation? You mean the-" [SWITCHES TO STRANGELY HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] "guy who talks like this?"
MOM: "You sound like a gay gangster. Don't do that."
SISTER: "And Kermit the Frog. Kermit the Gay Gangster."

SISTER: "But it says eta is E."
ME: "No, no, eta is H. You know, like in The Lightning Thief? Remember the part where they're at that water park? Annabeth sees the Cupid statues and she's like 'Oh, look, there's an eta on the base, and it's H in Greek and I don't know why it's here!' and Percy's just going 'Huhh, I dunno,' and then later on Annabeth goes 'Oh, H for Hephaestus! How did I not remember that?!' and Percy's just like 'DERP!'"
[NOTE: Meaning, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book 1: The Lightning Thief.]

MEGAN: "Yeah, I threw up earlier, but it wasn't because of this Mexican marshmallow - it was from something else. So do you want some? It's really good!"

***

Also, I won't be posting much (if at all) during November due to the epic stress of NaNo. See you all in December :)

Short stories!

"No, I swear this is my blog! I didn't steal the story! I put up an excerpt because I'm desperate and need to promote myself! Really, I'm that pathetic!"

Not going to work so great.

Moving on...

***

Today my friend asked someone to homecoming. He remembered the note and which locker was hers... yet neglected to bring a flower.

"I'll just bring it on Monday," he said.

"Then hurry up and take the note out before she comes," I said. "Just give her the note and the flower together on Monday when you bring it."

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Because I want to give her the note now," he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I rolled my eyes.

"But it would make much more sense to take it out now," I reasoned, "because then you can give it to her all together and it'll be all nice and pretty."

"Nah, I'll just give it to her on Monday."

"But-"

Too late to back out now; she just walked up.

At least she said yes. :D

***

In the girls' bathroom on the second floor, there's been an Out of Order sign on one of the stalls for a little over a week. I don't know why they haven't fixed it yet, but today I walked in and saw that someone had penciled in:

The Chamber of Secrets has been opened
Enemy of the heir, BEWARE

I changed "enemy" to "enemies" and ran away giggling.

My school is so awesome.