AAAARRRRGGGHHHHHH

I must rant. I give you two options, readers:

A) Run away now, or
B) Stay and listen to seemingly obscure complaints that only writers would understand (maybe)

Anyone up for choice A? Yes? No? Mayhap? Your time is now. I'll wait.

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...

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You've had enough. RANTING TIME.

So at the end of theology a day or two ago, we had ten minutes to do Whatever We Wanted (Not Including Killing Each Other With a Desk and a Pencil), so I grabbed a random sheet of paper and started noveling, as I am wont to do whenever there's spare time at the end of class (or if the lesson is particularly easy and/or boring, because then I just write during class anyway).

I had the beginning of an idea for a bit near the end of my book, after the climax and after they returned to a hero's welcome and what-have-you, and up until then I hadn't had any ideas for that part at all, so I was considerably excited (being a writing nerd and all).

All was well until I glanced over and realized that THIS GUY WHO SITS NEXT TO ME WAS READING OVER MY SHOULDER AAAGGGHOAJSHRG JAJER;A OAEKRJ GOAOR.

AAAARRRGGGHHHH I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS. It didn't help that he was actually quite attractive, either. Whenever people do that, I always get paranoid and crazily self-conscious about whatever I'm writing. Formal essays are fine, emails are a little awkward but still okay, comments I post on SparkLife and things are a little weirder but I guess it's fine, but original fiction? HNNGBLARGEKNAKJ LA;ASKJDDDD.

So I just started writing more and more messily until it was entirely illegible, and then I stopped altogether under the guise of checking the time (the clock is in the back of the room).

I hope he doesn't think I'm completely insane. He makes a good partner when our teacher tells us to get into little groups, because he does the work and actually qualifies as a Decent and Friendly Human Being (because everyone else is either a jerk, an idiot, or paired off).

Ack.

Reading and writing.

YES I AM READING EMMA OF WINDS OMG SO COOOOOOOL.

[We will use this opportunity to take a short commercial break while the blogger froths at the mouth in excitement.]

...

Right, then.

I'm in the middle of reading Emma of Winds, a book written by OMG A PERSON I KNOW. Since I kinda know the author and all, I got an early-release book from her. I actually would like to review this book, but 1) I'm not done reading it, and 2) I suck at summaries, so I'll just put the bit from the inside flap.

1697... Pirates mercilessly terrorize the Seven Seas, despite the English Embassy's attempts to stop them. Yet in the midst of all these foul, adventure-thirsty cutthroats, one pirate stands out. Her parents having been killed as outlaws, Emma has been raised by pirates. Now eighteen years old and the captain of her own ship, Emma's own adventures are thrilling, but unorthodox. With Heflan, an eccentric Embassy sheriff, constantly on her trail, things seem to get worse when his nephew, Ben, lies his was onto her ship. And when a mysterious treasure map is found, leading to a "treasure from Heaven," will Emma be able to outrun the dangers of being a pirate...while falling in love?

[My own words now.] Emma is a decidedly untraditional pirate, being both a woman and a pirate that isn't recklessly bloodthirsty and power-hungry. She enjoys the notoriety that comes with piracy and always tests the limits of whatever dares to restrain her, but  isn't arrogant and is well-liked by those who know her.

So when this thing gets released for real on January 1st, I expect you all to be looking for it in the bookstore.

Do it.

AND DID I MENTION HOW UNBELIEVABLY COOL THIS IS FOR ME?

Rachel, if you read this, don't get too scared, and don't be too intimidated by the fact that when we get back to school on the 5th, I am going to tackle you with a flying glomp and scream something along the lines of "OMIGOSHIREADYOURBOOKYOU'RESOCOOLOHMYGAAAAASH."

So... yeah.

In other news, it's pouring rain. :D My insane friend is at Disneyland, and I directly quote from our text conversation yesterday:

yeah but don't blame me when you try to go on a ride and end up sitting in a puddle
Oh we are planning to get wet
NO REALLY I HAD NO IDEA OMG
I see what you did there. but alas we know we are going to sit in water

I'm sure he's having fun running through the thunderstorm.

IDEAS?!

As you all know, my life during the month of November consisted entirely of WRITING WRITING WRITING WRITING. I did not, unfortunately, remember to check SparkLife on a regular basis, as was my custom. Since I didn't do this, I missed the announcement regarding the new Never Been Kissed columnists AND the offer for new columnists to send in ideas.

This sucks for a number of reasons.

1) I could totally write a Never Been Kissed column. I've never been kissed. Or had a boyfriend. Or been on a date. Or been asked out. Or liked. (Except maybe that one time, and that other time, and possibly last December.)
2) I have ZERO TIME to think of a column idea and send it in.

Seriously, how awesome would it look on my track record if I could say, instead of just doing one measly semester publication for my English class, I write an entire column for SparkLife? (It would be extremely, insanely, excruciatingly awesome. Trust me.)

So, fellow Sparklers and spazzers and bloggers: Got any ideas for a column? My feeble mind-ramblings include things related to:

~Writing [fiction]
~Writing [a novel, which I am currently doing]
~Chemistry
~Nerdiness in general
~Disneyland
~Ideas for lazy Saturdays

Actually, I kinda like that last idea. My friends and I come up with countless ideas to do over the summer, or over Christmas break, or next weekend, or for our birthdays... but we never have the time to do it, and no one else ever knows about our lovely ideas. For a column, I could offer up a fun/insane/completely idiotic and time-wasting way to kill time on a boring day (or even between classes when you have seven minutes before class and no one to talk to). I'll even make sure to toss in some stuff that will NOT make you eligible for expulsion from your school and/or a life sentence!

Or I could do a thing about Disneyland. I know how to make the most out of Fastpasses, what shows are worth waiting for, how long is too long for a line, how to properly Disneyland-walk (much more challenging than hallway-walking), shortcuts through obscure areas, random bits of trivia... but that might not appeal to everyone, because not everyone lives in southern California. Heck, there are Sparklers from all over the world. Why would they care about one little strip of land in Orange County?

Not sure how either will work out - what if I run out of ideas? What if people think the ideas are lame? What if I'm not funny?

And here's where you guys come in. Do you think that's a good idea? Any suggestions to improve the idea or for a different column? Reply STAT!