No point.

I feel like I should post something on here just to keep the blog alive and well, though I don't have much to say. Again.

Except maybe that I'm trying to digitally color a drawing I did and I get the feeling it's going to fail miserably... ah, well. Everyone has to start somewhere, and that "somewhere" is the Land of Failure and Suckishness.

Thankfully, people improve. (Erm, hopefully.) Even I, the worst artist ever (a combination of laziness, busyness, and general lack of talent is never good), have actually IMPROVED over time. Amazing, I know, but it's true. I look at stuff I uploaded to deviantART almost a year ago and cringe at the horror. I'm tempted to take it down and pretend it never happened, but I think it serves as a nice testament to some semblance of artistic improvement. Or something.

***

Sometimes this blog feels like one giant, raging, bubbling cesspool of narcissism. Who cares about what I think? Who cares about what I write? Who cares about the random, mundane, finer points of my life?

Maybe it's because I want to better myself as a writer, improve my (negligible) skill with words, et cetera. But what am I talking about? Myself. Nothing of global importance or national importance or anyone-that-isn't-me importance. I just keep rambling and rambling and expect people to read this and actually care.

How many pronouns have I used that are "I," "me," "my," or "mine"? Too many.

I expect someday I'll catch sight of my reflection in a nice, clear pool in the forest, and I'll fall madly in love with myself and eventually be turned into a flower by sympathetic higher forces.

AAAARRRRGGGHHHHHH

I must rant. I give you two options, readers:

A) Run away now, or
B) Stay and listen to seemingly obscure complaints that only writers would understand (maybe)

Anyone up for choice A? Yes? No? Mayhap? Your time is now. I'll wait.

...

...

...

You've had enough. RANTING TIME.

So at the end of theology a day or two ago, we had ten minutes to do Whatever We Wanted (Not Including Killing Each Other With a Desk and a Pencil), so I grabbed a random sheet of paper and started noveling, as I am wont to do whenever there's spare time at the end of class (or if the lesson is particularly easy and/or boring, because then I just write during class anyway).

I had the beginning of an idea for a bit near the end of my book, after the climax and after they returned to a hero's welcome and what-have-you, and up until then I hadn't had any ideas for that part at all, so I was considerably excited (being a writing nerd and all).

All was well until I glanced over and realized that THIS GUY WHO SITS NEXT TO ME WAS READING OVER MY SHOULDER AAAGGGHOAJSHRG JAJER;A OAEKRJ GOAOR.

AAAARRRGGGHHHH I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS. It didn't help that he was actually quite attractive, either. Whenever people do that, I always get paranoid and crazily self-conscious about whatever I'm writing. Formal essays are fine, emails are a little awkward but still okay, comments I post on SparkLife and things are a little weirder but I guess it's fine, but original fiction? HNNGBLARGEKNAKJ LA;ASKJDDDD.

So I just started writing more and more messily until it was entirely illegible, and then I stopped altogether under the guise of checking the time (the clock is in the back of the room).

I hope he doesn't think I'm completely insane. He makes a good partner when our teacher tells us to get into little groups, because he does the work and actually qualifies as a Decent and Friendly Human Being (because everyone else is either a jerk, an idiot, or paired off).

Ack.

Oh.

I think maybe I lost all my blog followers because I didn't post anything for like a MONTH out of sheer laziness/forgetfulness.

Also, I almost just spelled "forgetfulness" wrong.

WHY IS MY LIFE BECOMING SUCH A FAILURE?

--

In other news...there is no other news. The most exciting thing that's happened in a week is the re-discovery of my carrot hat, which I wore for Halloween when I was four years old.

Yes. I was a giant carrot. A giant, adorable carrot. You know you love it.

--

I decided to write five thousand words a week of my book until it's finished. That...probably won't happen, considering I'm supposed to get through seven hundred words today and it's 7:30 and I have written ZERO. Because I'm lazy. And tired. And I had a chem test today so that automatically excuses me from everything else.

Yeah.

To make up for the lack of content in this post, I shall now feature a picture of a dog that looks like the dog I used to have (except my dog was way, way cuter, I swear).

YES I AM ADORABLE LOOK AT MY FACE AND BAWWWWW.

 Actually, I'm pretty sure I have a real picture of her (taken with Photo Booth, but whatever). Maybe I'll try to find that one...

EDIT: YES I FOUND IT.

AHHHHH THE CUTENESS BURNS

YES SHE IS COMPLETELY ADORABLE. It's not a very good pic, considering the blurriness and general overall lameness, but still.

I miss that dog.

Rolling.

Yes, that was meant to sound wrong.

ANYWAY.

So I got this lovely comment from the amazingly hilarious jtjuvenile (DIDIGETYOURNAMERIGHT? Or should I call you Jessica instead?) and thought it would be a nice opportunity to procrastinate write a new blog post!

"You can't roll your "R"s? Time for some palm contact, 'cause I can't either. *five*"

Why, no, I cannot. I am for some reason completely incapable of making that funny little R noise with my tongue.  My mom and sister in particular have attempted to teach me countless times, but nothing works. I'm just a failure. Is this something that can be taught? Because while I can't roll my R's, I can't properly imitate my friend's accent and the amazing way she says "hamburger" when she's really excited. (When she gets excited, her accent gets thicker.)

But that's okay because in the meantime, while I'm failing, I get to talk to my friend and he'll sit there rolling his R's smugly while I pseudo-glare and concentrate really hard on are his eyes really as blue as everyone says they are? (Because my friend just told me that and I never paid attention, dangit. I should have a long time ago. Like, last year. But whatever.) (Perhaps I should change my mental status from "I don't know if I like him or not" to "Yeah I kinda already do." Because I think my subconscious already changed it for me.)

I think maybe I should decide soon, because in the meantime it's kind of awkward to glare at a certain name in my list of online Skype contacts and think very angry questions concerning his whereabouts during seventh period, during which he's usually in the library panicking about chem with the rest of us.


(LOL THIS IS SO CLICHE WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME)

I think maybe I'll hide this post later on, when my hormones stop flailing around like I just chugged an entire can of Monster. Not that I have ever done that. (Seriously, I actually haven't.)

Oh.

I realize I have been horribly neglectful to this blog.

Notice how the orange coordinates with my blog theme. *gestures wildly*

Not much has been happening, unfortunately, except for a few memorable Skype conversations and one particularly hilarious seventh period (which was only on Tuesday). It mainly consisted of:

- Finishing the chem lab in a panicked hurry
- Procrastinating on finishing the chem lab, even though it was due in ONE HOUR OMG
- My friends discovering I couldn't roll my R's, and then flaunting their prowess at rolling aforementioned consonants
- Laughing so hard we couldn't breathe
- A slight inability to hear, on account of my cold ("slight" meaning "if you whisper you look like you are just moving your lips for no particular reason"), which was inconvenient because we were in the library
- A lot of other stuff that was "you had to be there" inside-jokey material

So yeah. I'll start posting more often.

Because I can't stand the thought of ever forgetting this.

Because this is what best friends are FOR, people. Unedited except for names.

We abuse caps lock. DEAL WITH IT.


[talking about an impending book club for elementary schoolers]

Night: Lol OKAY GUYS WE ARE READING "IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE"
Night: BECAUSE
Janepage: YESH
Night: IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE
Night: IT WILL WANT SOME MILK
Night: AND YOU MUST KNOW
Night: HOW TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION
Janepage: SCOTCH TAPE!
Night: IT COULD CHANGE YOUR LIIIIIFEEEEE

***

Janepage: Just nudge me if I go off about asylums or burning houses

***

[after posting a long line of animated emo smilies]
Night: AN ARMY OF EMOS
Night: THEY ALL HAIRFLIP IN SYNC
Night: omg if their hair was lighter
Night: THEY WOULD BE BIEBER CLONES
Janepage: AHHHHHHHHHH!
Night: LIKE
Night: IF THE BIEBS DYED HIS HAIR BLACK
Night: HE'D BE AN EMO
Night: HE HAS THE SKINNY JEANS AND EVERYTHING
Janepage: ...ew
Night: ...
Night: he's gross enough, no need to pile on more nasty
Night: irritating little helmethead >>

***

Night: lol we just spent like 10 minutes googling ferraris and lambos bc she saw one on the street and wanted to know what kind it was
Night: she thought it was a ferrari, but it wasn't
Night: and now i am staring at pictures of disgustingly expensive cars
Night: HELLO MA'AM WOULD YOU LIKE TO DRIVE YOUR CONDO OR LIVE IN IT?
Janepage: Hahahahahaha!!!!!
Night: It was actually kind of scary
Night: WOULD YOU LIKE THE $221000 MODEL OR THE $382000 ONE
Janepage: THE EXPENSIVE ONE BETTER COME WITH 300 PUPPIES
Night: YES
Night: IT SHOULD
Janepage: OH YES
Night: INDEED
Night: I SHALL WRITE A PETITION TO LAMBORGHINI
Night: TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
Night: INCLUDE 300 PUPPIES IN YOUR MAHFGOLJAK MODEL
Night: BECAUSE IF ANYONE PAYS THAT MUCH MONEY FOR A METAL BOX WITH RUBBER WHEELS
Night: THEY SHOULD GET 300 PUPPIES


***

Seriously, guys, look at this sucker. Have you ever seen anything so grotesquely expensive yet awesome? I THINK NOT.

Spam

Look what I found in my spam box this morning.

Heh. Heheheh. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

At least we're not animal abusers.

Uncensored except for the names.

me: ...idk why i just remembered this but when i went to italy we were sitting around eating crepes and watching pigeons
me: and then i saw this couple buying crepes from the stand
me: and i would've thought it was cute
me: except they were like 13 o_o
me: AH, EUROPE
THE CONTINENT/GEOGRAPHIC REGION OF LOOOOOOVE
[friend]: omg
[friend]: when we go to italy
[friend]: we are buying crepes
[friend]: okay?!
me: OMGYES!!!
me: crepes crepes crepes
me: ...oh wait maybe that was in france, not italy
me: bc france has the crepes >>
[friend]: also our fail temperature brought the average class temperature up 0.4C
[friend]: lol
me: LOLNICE
[friend]: we're like global warming
me: HAHAHAHAHAHA
[friend]: except we kind of suck more
me: ...
me: but we're not killing polar bears

The voice of failure

I didn't win.

(Non-emo posting will resume shortly. I promise.)

Short stories!

"No, I swear this is my blog! I didn't steal the story! I put up an excerpt because I'm desperate and need to promote myself! Really, I'm that pathetic!"

Not going to work so great.

Moving on...

***

Today my friend asked someone to homecoming. He remembered the note and which locker was hers... yet neglected to bring a flower.

"I'll just bring it on Monday," he said.

"Then hurry up and take the note out before she comes," I said. "Just give her the note and the flower together on Monday when you bring it."

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Because I want to give her the note now," he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I rolled my eyes.

"But it would make much more sense to take it out now," I reasoned, "because then you can give it to her all together and it'll be all nice and pretty."

"Nah, I'll just give it to her on Monday."

"But-"

Too late to back out now; she just walked up.

At least she said yes. :D

***

In the girls' bathroom on the second floor, there's been an Out of Order sign on one of the stalls for a little over a week. I don't know why they haven't fixed it yet, but today I walked in and saw that someone had penciled in:

The Chamber of Secrets has been opened
Enemy of the heir, BEWARE

I changed "enemy" to "enemies" and ran away giggling.

My school is so awesome.

Oops. Again.

Hi, my name is Nightshade, and I'm ridiculously forgetful.

AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH. I haven't posted here since... uh... okay, it says June 13. EPIC FAILURE.

I am SUPER SUPER SUPER sorry I haven't posted! I was actually on vacation for a week, but for the rest of the time, I was just being a procrastinator/forgetter. Oops.

Anyway, just a small update because it's 11 PM and I don't have much time-- I'll update more soon, I promise! I'll virtual-pinky swear! *pinky swears*

Peace out, Girl Scout!

It's probably because you're BRITISH.

Sorry. I just had to throw the reference into the post title. (I'm so clever. AHAHAHAHA.)

Anyway, I'm not going to- wait. OH MY GOODNESS, South Africa's official website uses the British spelling of "organization." It says "organisation." Well... it's either the British spelling or a typo, because my (American) Mac is spell-checking it right now. It's more like "OMG YOU MUST FIX THIS GRIEVOUS SPELLING ERROR OR THIS COMPUTER WILL EXPLODE IN YOUR FACE."

If the computer really did that every time it spell-checked a word, it would be bad.

I mean, it spell-checks "Quidditch" and "Hogwarts" and- WAIT. It doesn't spell-check Hogwarts. HA! I KNEW IT WAS REAL! I KNEW IT!!

I go a little crazy under stress. Can you tell?

So, back to the original reason I was going to post (before my yet-to-be-diagnosed ADHD led me wildly off-track to spell-check and Harry Potter).

PRO: I have no homework aaalllllllll this week! Yaaay!
CON: It's because finals are aallllll next week! Noooo!

PRO: After I get through finals, it's SUMMER!
CON: Getting to summer requires surviving through finals. Right now, the future is... iffy, at best.

So, there you have it. I'm being dragged under the Finals Bus, and it's a one-way ticket to Stress-Induced Insanity...town. Insanitytown. ROIGHT. (No, that is not a typo.)

And with that, I leave. GIEBELHAUS! (I have no idea what that means. What language is that? What does it mean? Does it mean anything? Is it even a real word?)

The stress bunnies are eating my brain.

Golf.

This is just a really short post, since I'm in the middle of writing a monstrous mini-essay. (Why do teachers assign homework over spring break? It's called a BREAK for a reason, people. Like, a break from the punishment they call homework.)

Anyway, my dad had one of those "OMG COME WATCH THIS PUTT" moments whilst watching professional golf on TV. The Masters are on, Phil Mickelson is tied for the lead, and my dad is so excited that I think he's going to start jumping up and down at any second now. Also, pro golf's leading Recovering Jerkface just missed two reeeaaally easy putts. IN A ROW. It's like the cardinal sin of golf. (Well, that, and leaving a putt short. Apparently.)

So Tiger misses the putt, and the crowd goes "Awww," and then he misses ANOTHER, and the crowd goes "Ahhhh!!" because they OMG cannot believe that he missed the putt!!

It's a valid concern. When stuff like that happens, it sucks really bad, because you fail at life. Twice. Within sixty seconds. Believe me, I would know. I golf, and I've done that before. SO not fun.

Golfers get upset over the strangest things.

UPDATE: Phil Mickelson just won the Masters. (Yes, it's a good thing. From what I've heard, he's a really cool dude. :) ) I think my dad might scream. Phil's his favorite.