Oh.

I realize I have been horribly neglectful to this blog.

Notice how the orange coordinates with my blog theme. *gestures wildly*

Not much has been happening, unfortunately, except for a few memorable Skype conversations and one particularly hilarious seventh period (which was only on Tuesday). It mainly consisted of:

- Finishing the chem lab in a panicked hurry
- Procrastinating on finishing the chem lab, even though it was due in ONE HOUR OMG
- My friends discovering I couldn't roll my R's, and then flaunting their prowess at rolling aforementioned consonants
- Laughing so hard we couldn't breathe
- A slight inability to hear, on account of my cold ("slight" meaning "if you whisper you look like you are just moving your lips for no particular reason"), which was inconvenient because we were in the library
- A lot of other stuff that was "you had to be there" inside-jokey material

So yeah. I'll start posting more often.

Because I can't stand the thought of ever forgetting this.

Because this is what best friends are FOR, people. Unedited except for names.

We abuse caps lock. DEAL WITH IT.


[talking about an impending book club for elementary schoolers]

Night: Lol OKAY GUYS WE ARE READING "IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE"
Night: BECAUSE
Janepage: YESH
Night: IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE
Night: IT WILL WANT SOME MILK
Night: AND YOU MUST KNOW
Night: HOW TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION
Janepage: SCOTCH TAPE!
Night: IT COULD CHANGE YOUR LIIIIIFEEEEE

***

Janepage: Just nudge me if I go off about asylums or burning houses

***

[after posting a long line of animated emo smilies]
Night: AN ARMY OF EMOS
Night: THEY ALL HAIRFLIP IN SYNC
Night: omg if their hair was lighter
Night: THEY WOULD BE BIEBER CLONES
Janepage: AHHHHHHHHHH!
Night: LIKE
Night: IF THE BIEBS DYED HIS HAIR BLACK
Night: HE'D BE AN EMO
Night: HE HAS THE SKINNY JEANS AND EVERYTHING
Janepage: ...ew
Night: ...
Night: he's gross enough, no need to pile on more nasty
Night: irritating little helmethead >>

***

Night: lol we just spent like 10 minutes googling ferraris and lambos bc she saw one on the street and wanted to know what kind it was
Night: she thought it was a ferrari, but it wasn't
Night: and now i am staring at pictures of disgustingly expensive cars
Night: HELLO MA'AM WOULD YOU LIKE TO DRIVE YOUR CONDO OR LIVE IN IT?
Janepage: Hahahahahaha!!!!!
Night: It was actually kind of scary
Night: WOULD YOU LIKE THE $221000 MODEL OR THE $382000 ONE
Janepage: THE EXPENSIVE ONE BETTER COME WITH 300 PUPPIES
Night: YES
Night: IT SHOULD
Janepage: OH YES
Night: INDEED
Night: I SHALL WRITE A PETITION TO LAMBORGHINI
Night: TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
Night: INCLUDE 300 PUPPIES IN YOUR MAHFGOLJAK MODEL
Night: BECAUSE IF ANYONE PAYS THAT MUCH MONEY FOR A METAL BOX WITH RUBBER WHEELS
Night: THEY SHOULD GET 300 PUPPIES


***

Seriously, guys, look at this sucker. Have you ever seen anything so grotesquely expensive yet awesome? I THINK NOT.

Nightshade is not impressed

Why does this bother me so much?

If you're too lazy to click on the link, it's a Yahoo article about how some things are becoming increasingly obscure, and how babies born in 2011 won't know about these things when they grow up. They do have some good points - in my experience, fax machines go often unused, and dial-up Internet and encyclopedias aren't frequented - but some of this stuff is seriously ticking me off.



"Talking to one person at a time: Remember when it was rude to be with one person while talking to another on the phone? Kids born today will just assume that you're supposed to use texting to maintain contact with five or six other people while pretending to pay attention to the person you happen to be physically next to."

No. Just...no. If someone is in the middle of holding a conversation with me and they answer their phone (for a reason other than a very practical one, such as letting their mother know that they need to be picked up at 4:30, not 4:00), I immediately lose a fair amount of respect for them. If I'm not interested in talking to someone, I will not inform them of this by ignoring them and texting someone else. No matter who you're speaking to, that is so unbelievably, explicitly rude that I honestly can't believe people have the nerve to do that.

I don't care if they wave a hand and say "Oh, it's fine, just pick up, I'm okay with it;" it's not fine, and they're not okay with it. They were in the middle of speaking to you, and obviously they were willing to invest time and energy in speaking to you, so why would they suddenly drop you like a potato sack? Call me old-fashioned, but I still hold on to that old tradition - you know, the one where you actually give your friends the time of day and pay them the proper attention and respect that they deserve.




"Books, magazines, and newspapers: Like video tape, words written on dead trees are on their way out. Sure, there may be books -- but for those born today, stores that exist solely to sell them will be as numerous as record stores are now."

I think I can safely say that this is the one thing that people say about writing that ticks me off the most.

Let me say this loud and clear: Books are not useless. They are not fading into obscurity; they are not being replaced by the digital world. The text of the books may also be available in digital form, that's true, and I'm not ashamed to admit that yes, it's very convenient.

But nothing can replace the smell of ink and paper, the brush of pages falling through your fingers, the lines of letters marching across the page to form imagination personified. Nothing in the world can take away the magic of holding a book in your hands. Whether it be new or old, read once or reread a thousand times, in mint condition or battered and loved, a book is still a book. That simple stack of papers holds the key to the universe. It keeps you sane. It gives you hope. And best of all, it inspires more stories to be written into more books that can be printed on more paper and stacked on more shelves, for more readers to pick up and riffle through so they can start the cycle of ideas all over again.

So don't you dare tell me that books are becoming obscure. On the day that books become completely obsolete; on the day that there is not a single person in this entire world that will give even a scrap of attention, a second of their precious, hurried time, to that bundle of paper sitting quietly on a shelf, waiting for you to pick it up and indulge yourself in its story; at the time when humans become even more stupid and ignorant and blind to the beauty of the written words right in front of their eyes: that is the day that I will say I am wrong.

WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN.

HAPPY 2011, BLOGGERS! YASJFKLAWEJ TLAJR LTKJAW;4 TJOI4J TALEJRG;JAERJ85YO58Y OES

Ahem.

I can't believe it's 2011. What the heck is this? Where did 2010 go? It disappeared, guys. WE HAVE TO FIND IT.

In the meantime, I'll be at Disneyland on Monday. Not going back to school till Wednesday! YES.

CHRISTMAS.

I don't care about being politically correct; I don't care if I "offend" anymore; I don't care what anyone else thinks, because I refuse to say "happy holidays" and I'll scream MERRY CHRISTMAS to the entire world.

...that was kind of an emo bit for such a happy salutation.

But seriously, if I'm Christian and I celebrate Christmas, I have the right to wish people a merry Christmas, regardless of what they celebrate. I live in a free country; I can say what I want. I respect the fact that not everyone is Christian and might not celebrate Christmas. They might celebrate Hannukah (did I spell that right?) or Kwanzaa (does anyone know someone who actually celebrates that? I've never met anyone who does), but I'll still say "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays."

On the radio I heard the host wish everyone happy holidays... and then add a "Merry Christmas" at the end before returning to the regularly scheduled Christmas music. I haven't heard or seen anyone else do this, though. All the companies try as hard as they can to be politically correct or religiously tolerant (or whatever) and say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas."

I might as well go with "Happy Christmahannukwanzaa" and be done with it.

Won't be blogging for the next few days; I've Christmasy things to do. :D

Reading and writing.

YES I AM READING EMMA OF WINDS OMG SO COOOOOOOL.

[We will use this opportunity to take a short commercial break while the blogger froths at the mouth in excitement.]

...

Right, then.

I'm in the middle of reading Emma of Winds, a book written by OMG A PERSON I KNOW. Since I kinda know the author and all, I got an early-release book from her. I actually would like to review this book, but 1) I'm not done reading it, and 2) I suck at summaries, so I'll just put the bit from the inside flap.

1697... Pirates mercilessly terrorize the Seven Seas, despite the English Embassy's attempts to stop them. Yet in the midst of all these foul, adventure-thirsty cutthroats, one pirate stands out. Her parents having been killed as outlaws, Emma has been raised by pirates. Now eighteen years old and the captain of her own ship, Emma's own adventures are thrilling, but unorthodox. With Heflan, an eccentric Embassy sheriff, constantly on her trail, things seem to get worse when his nephew, Ben, lies his was onto her ship. And when a mysterious treasure map is found, leading to a "treasure from Heaven," will Emma be able to outrun the dangers of being a pirate...while falling in love?

[My own words now.] Emma is a decidedly untraditional pirate, being both a woman and a pirate that isn't recklessly bloodthirsty and power-hungry. She enjoys the notoriety that comes with piracy and always tests the limits of whatever dares to restrain her, but  isn't arrogant and is well-liked by those who know her.

So when this thing gets released for real on January 1st, I expect you all to be looking for it in the bookstore.

Do it.

AND DID I MENTION HOW UNBELIEVABLY COOL THIS IS FOR ME?

Rachel, if you read this, don't get too scared, and don't be too intimidated by the fact that when we get back to school on the 5th, I am going to tackle you with a flying glomp and scream something along the lines of "OMIGOSHIREADYOURBOOKYOU'RESOCOOLOHMYGAAAAASH."

So... yeah.

In other news, it's pouring rain. :D My insane friend is at Disneyland, and I directly quote from our text conversation yesterday:

yeah but don't blame me when you try to go on a ride and end up sitting in a puddle
Oh we are planning to get wet
NO REALLY I HAD NO IDEA OMG
I see what you did there. but alas we know we are going to sit in water

I'm sure he's having fun running through the thunderstorm.

Spam

Look what I found in my spam box this morning.

Heh. Heheheh. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

IDEAS?!

As you all know, my life during the month of November consisted entirely of WRITING WRITING WRITING WRITING. I did not, unfortunately, remember to check SparkLife on a regular basis, as was my custom. Since I didn't do this, I missed the announcement regarding the new Never Been Kissed columnists AND the offer for new columnists to send in ideas.

This sucks for a number of reasons.

1) I could totally write a Never Been Kissed column. I've never been kissed. Or had a boyfriend. Or been on a date. Or been asked out. Or liked. (Except maybe that one time, and that other time, and possibly last December.)
2) I have ZERO TIME to think of a column idea and send it in.

Seriously, how awesome would it look on my track record if I could say, instead of just doing one measly semester publication for my English class, I write an entire column for SparkLife? (It would be extremely, insanely, excruciatingly awesome. Trust me.)

So, fellow Sparklers and spazzers and bloggers: Got any ideas for a column? My feeble mind-ramblings include things related to:

~Writing [fiction]
~Writing [a novel, which I am currently doing]
~Chemistry
~Nerdiness in general
~Disneyland
~Ideas for lazy Saturdays

Actually, I kinda like that last idea. My friends and I come up with countless ideas to do over the summer, or over Christmas break, or next weekend, or for our birthdays... but we never have the time to do it, and no one else ever knows about our lovely ideas. For a column, I could offer up a fun/insane/completely idiotic and time-wasting way to kill time on a boring day (or even between classes when you have seven minutes before class and no one to talk to). I'll even make sure to toss in some stuff that will NOT make you eligible for expulsion from your school and/or a life sentence!

Or I could do a thing about Disneyland. I know how to make the most out of Fastpasses, what shows are worth waiting for, how long is too long for a line, how to properly Disneyland-walk (much more challenging than hallway-walking), shortcuts through obscure areas, random bits of trivia... but that might not appeal to everyone, because not everyone lives in southern California. Heck, there are Sparklers from all over the world. Why would they care about one little strip of land in Orange County?

Not sure how either will work out - what if I run out of ideas? What if people think the ideas are lame? What if I'm not funny?

And here's where you guys come in. Do you think that's a good idea? Any suggestions to improve the idea or for a different column? Reply STAT!

At least we're not animal abusers.

Uncensored except for the names.

me: ...idk why i just remembered this but when i went to italy we were sitting around eating crepes and watching pigeons
me: and then i saw this couple buying crepes from the stand
me: and i would've thought it was cute
me: except they were like 13 o_o
me: AH, EUROPE
THE CONTINENT/GEOGRAPHIC REGION OF LOOOOOOVE
[friend]: omg
[friend]: when we go to italy
[friend]: we are buying crepes
[friend]: okay?!
me: OMGYES!!!
me: crepes crepes crepes
me: ...oh wait maybe that was in france, not italy
me: bc france has the crepes >>
[friend]: also our fail temperature brought the average class temperature up 0.4C
[friend]: lol
me: LOLNICE
[friend]: we're like global warming
me: HAHAHAHAHAHA
[friend]: except we kind of suck more
me: ...
me: but we're not killing polar bears

The voice of failure

I didn't win.

(Non-emo posting will resume shortly. I promise.)