The Saga of Freakish Salsa and Exploding Soda... PART I.

While I struggle through extremely difficult math homework, I realize that I can't get one particular day (er... evening?) out of my head. It's probably the most fun I've ever had in three hours (other than, like, Disneyland), so I thought, "Hey, I should blog about this! It's funny and really random and contains information about freakishly spicy salsa!"

So after that, I HAD to blog about it, of course. I mean, who doesn't love hearing about freakishly spicy salsa?! (Jerks, that's who. Or normal people, I guess.)

It's a pretty long story, so instead of doing one, gigantic, eye-shriveling post, I'll split it into parts. Yaaay! It's a whole mini-series of blog posts! I'll call it... The Saga of Freakish Salsa and Exploding Soda. (Erm... long story. You'll see.) I have no idea how many parts it'll be, but no worries, you guys will definitely be entertained.

And with that, let the saga COMMENCE!!

***

I suppose we should start with the day before.

I was at school, working a fundraiser for our team. Me and two of my teammates were wandering in circles around the school, trying to get rid of all the little flyers because there were like 70 of them and we had nowhere to put them.

Our sales pitch, and the usual response:

"Hey, you! In the red! You want a candy cane?"
"Uh..." [confused stare]
"It's free."
"Sure?"
"Cool. Take a flyer, too."
"Uh..." [More confused staring.]
"It's for the golf team. We're doing a fundraiser. Just take the candy and then give your parents the flyer."
"Oh. Uh, okay."

So we were walking around, giving people candy canes and postcards, and then my phone rang and it was one of my friends. (Shut up, Tracy. His name is not Adam.)

Anyway, I picked up, and one of the most awkward conversations I've ever had followed. But here's the thing: The actual dialogue that was spoken wasn't awkward. Usually, we talk easily, because we both like to talk about really strange things. But for me, it was super awkward. Why? Because my two teammates were standing there, smiling evilly, saying "Hey, Nightshade. Who's that? Huh? Who are you talking to? It sounds like a guy. Is it a guy? Oh my gosh, it totally is. Oooh. Who is it? Do you like him? What are you talking about?" while I glare at them and make the universal shut-up-right-now throat-slashing sign at them.

Kind of like this:

"So, um, I should go now. I'll ask my mom about tomorrow."
[Teammates: "Tomorrow? What's happening tomorrow? Is something happening tomorrow? Ooooh!"]
"Okay, cool. Have fun ambushing people."
"Heh, thanks. I definitely will."
[Teammates: "Will what? You'll what?"
Me, covering phone: "Shut up! I said we're ambushing people for the fundraiser!"
Teammates: "Oh."]
"What?"
"Nothing. Anyway, talk to you later."
[Teammates: "Oh, yeah. You'll definitely talk to him later."]

And then a very awkward exchange that I thought only existed in the magic metal boxes we call "television," that went like this:

"Okay, bye-"
"I'll call back late- wait, what?"
"What?"
"Wait, what were you going to say? I was going to-"
"I was going to call back- wait, what?"
"What?"
"What?"
"Agh! I'm sorr-"
"Sorry, wha-"
"I'LL CALL BACK LATER! BYE!"
"Bye?!"
Click.

Then I look over at my friends, and they're standing there smirking in a I-know-something-you-don't-know way. Then one of my friends looks at me, puts on her best seductive voice, and goes:

"You gonna text him later?"

(Replace that first T with an S.)

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! No."

***END PART I***