In which the blogger brags about her amazing friends

Because, you know, they're completely and utterly awesome. Seriously, did funnier people ever exist? I think not.

And also, they give really good hugs.

But even if funnier people did exist, I bet they didn't make math jokes - 

"Okay, guys, let's be rational-"
"No! Never! We are not rational! We are irrational! We are PI!!"

- or come up with such eloquent answers to scientific questions -

"How have you increased the entropy of the universe today? Walking, eating, breathing-"
"BLINKING!"

- or made such a declaration as... um. I'm not really sure how to describe this.

"Today is not yesterday. Today is TODAY."

Yes, we are AP students. I promise.

In which the blogger has nothing to say

...beyond the topic of procrastination.

O, Procrastination. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I'm procrastinating on my massive twenty-percent-of-my-grade theology paper, procrastinating on writing my book, procrastinating on coloring that Tangled doodle I did last night, procrastinating on asking my friend who he went to Sadie's with everything about life except maybe reading A Tale of Two Cities...

OH. OH. SEE, I DO HAVE SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT.

Oh my goodness, I hit the local Borders last night (they're closing! AAAAAGGGHHHHH) and I wanted to get Tale of Two Cities and Sense and Sensibility (or Pride and Prejudice, or both). I ended up getting the TRON: Betrayal graphic novel (which is amazing), A Tale of Two Cities, and Great Expectations, which was paired with it.

They had seven copies of Great Expectations and ZERO of A Tale of Two Cities. How messed up is that?

But anyway, I read the cover flaps for both, and Great Expectations sounded better... but I was told that TOTC was amazing and besides, that was my entire reason for getting the mega-book, so I started reading that first.

It's divided into three parts - Book the First, Second, and Third - and Book the First was blekjalskjglkawsjgtBORING. I SparkNote'd the summary because I had no idea what I was reading.

And then I got to Book the Second.


And then Sydney Carton came in, who is the sexiest fictional drunk to ever grace the literary world absolutely amazing.


...


AHHHHHHHHHHHHH MUST KEEP READING. I got so bored when it switched to Monsieur Whatshisface and Charles Darnay, dirty little spy. GO BACK TO FRANCE AND STAY THERE. And stop jacking up my Sydney Carton scenes.

That's all for now. Need moar Sydney.

AAAARRRRGGGHHHHHH

I must rant. I give you two options, readers:

A) Run away now, or
B) Stay and listen to seemingly obscure complaints that only writers would understand (maybe)

Anyone up for choice A? Yes? No? Mayhap? Your time is now. I'll wait.

...

...

...

You've had enough. RANTING TIME.

So at the end of theology a day or two ago, we had ten minutes to do Whatever We Wanted (Not Including Killing Each Other With a Desk and a Pencil), so I grabbed a random sheet of paper and started noveling, as I am wont to do whenever there's spare time at the end of class (or if the lesson is particularly easy and/or boring, because then I just write during class anyway).

I had the beginning of an idea for a bit near the end of my book, after the climax and after they returned to a hero's welcome and what-have-you, and up until then I hadn't had any ideas for that part at all, so I was considerably excited (being a writing nerd and all).

All was well until I glanced over and realized that THIS GUY WHO SITS NEXT TO ME WAS READING OVER MY SHOULDER AAAGGGHOAJSHRG JAJER;A OAEKRJ GOAOR.

AAAARRRGGGHHHH I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS. It didn't help that he was actually quite attractive, either. Whenever people do that, I always get paranoid and crazily self-conscious about whatever I'm writing. Formal essays are fine, emails are a little awkward but still okay, comments I post on SparkLife and things are a little weirder but I guess it's fine, but original fiction? HNNGBLARGEKNAKJ LA;ASKJDDDD.

So I just started writing more and more messily until it was entirely illegible, and then I stopped altogether under the guise of checking the time (the clock is in the back of the room).

I hope he doesn't think I'm completely insane. He makes a good partner when our teacher tells us to get into little groups, because he does the work and actually qualifies as a Decent and Friendly Human Being (because everyone else is either a jerk, an idiot, or paired off).

Ack.

Oh.

I think maybe I lost all my blog followers because I didn't post anything for like a MONTH out of sheer laziness/forgetfulness.

Also, I almost just spelled "forgetfulness" wrong.

WHY IS MY LIFE BECOMING SUCH A FAILURE?

--

In other news...there is no other news. The most exciting thing that's happened in a week is the re-discovery of my carrot hat, which I wore for Halloween when I was four years old.

Yes. I was a giant carrot. A giant, adorable carrot. You know you love it.

--

I decided to write five thousand words a week of my book until it's finished. That...probably won't happen, considering I'm supposed to get through seven hundred words today and it's 7:30 and I have written ZERO. Because I'm lazy. And tired. And I had a chem test today so that automatically excuses me from everything else.

Yeah.

To make up for the lack of content in this post, I shall now feature a picture of a dog that looks like the dog I used to have (except my dog was way, way cuter, I swear).

YES I AM ADORABLE LOOK AT MY FACE AND BAWWWWW.

 Actually, I'm pretty sure I have a real picture of her (taken with Photo Booth, but whatever). Maybe I'll try to find that one...

EDIT: YES I FOUND IT.

AHHHHH THE CUTENESS BURNS

YES SHE IS COMPLETELY ADORABLE. It's not a very good pic, considering the blurriness and general overall lameness, but still.

I miss that dog.

OH HO HO.

I think I have an idea for a SparkLife column. >:D

Rolling.

Yes, that was meant to sound wrong.

ANYWAY.

So I got this lovely comment from the amazingly hilarious jtjuvenile (DIDIGETYOURNAMERIGHT? Or should I call you Jessica instead?) and thought it would be a nice opportunity to procrastinate write a new blog post!

"You can't roll your "R"s? Time for some palm contact, 'cause I can't either. *five*"

Why, no, I cannot. I am for some reason completely incapable of making that funny little R noise with my tongue.  My mom and sister in particular have attempted to teach me countless times, but nothing works. I'm just a failure. Is this something that can be taught? Because while I can't roll my R's, I can't properly imitate my friend's accent and the amazing way she says "hamburger" when she's really excited. (When she gets excited, her accent gets thicker.)

But that's okay because in the meantime, while I'm failing, I get to talk to my friend and he'll sit there rolling his R's smugly while I pseudo-glare and concentrate really hard on are his eyes really as blue as everyone says they are? (Because my friend just told me that and I never paid attention, dangit. I should have a long time ago. Like, last year. But whatever.) (Perhaps I should change my mental status from "I don't know if I like him or not" to "Yeah I kinda already do." Because I think my subconscious already changed it for me.)

I think maybe I should decide soon, because in the meantime it's kind of awkward to glare at a certain name in my list of online Skype contacts and think very angry questions concerning his whereabouts during seventh period, during which he's usually in the library panicking about chem with the rest of us.


(LOL THIS IS SO CLICHE WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME)

I think maybe I'll hide this post later on, when my hormones stop flailing around like I just chugged an entire can of Monster. Not that I have ever done that. (Seriously, I actually haven't.)

Oh.

I realize I have been horribly neglectful to this blog.

Notice how the orange coordinates with my blog theme. *gestures wildly*

Not much has been happening, unfortunately, except for a few memorable Skype conversations and one particularly hilarious seventh period (which was only on Tuesday). It mainly consisted of:

- Finishing the chem lab in a panicked hurry
- Procrastinating on finishing the chem lab, even though it was due in ONE HOUR OMG
- My friends discovering I couldn't roll my R's, and then flaunting their prowess at rolling aforementioned consonants
- Laughing so hard we couldn't breathe
- A slight inability to hear, on account of my cold ("slight" meaning "if you whisper you look like you are just moving your lips for no particular reason"), which was inconvenient because we were in the library
- A lot of other stuff that was "you had to be there" inside-jokey material

So yeah. I'll start posting more often.

Because I can't stand the thought of ever forgetting this.

Because this is what best friends are FOR, people. Unedited except for names.

We abuse caps lock. DEAL WITH IT.


[talking about an impending book club for elementary schoolers]

Night: Lol OKAY GUYS WE ARE READING "IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE"
Night: BECAUSE
Janepage: YESH
Night: IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE
Night: IT WILL WANT SOME MILK
Night: AND YOU MUST KNOW
Night: HOW TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION
Janepage: SCOTCH TAPE!
Night: IT COULD CHANGE YOUR LIIIIIFEEEEE

***

Janepage: Just nudge me if I go off about asylums or burning houses

***

[after posting a long line of animated emo smilies]
Night: AN ARMY OF EMOS
Night: THEY ALL HAIRFLIP IN SYNC
Night: omg if their hair was lighter
Night: THEY WOULD BE BIEBER CLONES
Janepage: AHHHHHHHHHH!
Night: LIKE
Night: IF THE BIEBS DYED HIS HAIR BLACK
Night: HE'D BE AN EMO
Night: HE HAS THE SKINNY JEANS AND EVERYTHING
Janepage: ...ew
Night: ...
Night: he's gross enough, no need to pile on more nasty
Night: irritating little helmethead >>

***

Night: lol we just spent like 10 minutes googling ferraris and lambos bc she saw one on the street and wanted to know what kind it was
Night: she thought it was a ferrari, but it wasn't
Night: and now i am staring at pictures of disgustingly expensive cars
Night: HELLO MA'AM WOULD YOU LIKE TO DRIVE YOUR CONDO OR LIVE IN IT?
Janepage: Hahahahahaha!!!!!
Night: It was actually kind of scary
Night: WOULD YOU LIKE THE $221000 MODEL OR THE $382000 ONE
Janepage: THE EXPENSIVE ONE BETTER COME WITH 300 PUPPIES
Night: YES
Night: IT SHOULD
Janepage: OH YES
Night: INDEED
Night: I SHALL WRITE A PETITION TO LAMBORGHINI
Night: TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
Night: INCLUDE 300 PUPPIES IN YOUR MAHFGOLJAK MODEL
Night: BECAUSE IF ANYONE PAYS THAT MUCH MONEY FOR A METAL BOX WITH RUBBER WHEELS
Night: THEY SHOULD GET 300 PUPPIES


***

Seriously, guys, look at this sucker. Have you ever seen anything so grotesquely expensive yet awesome? I THINK NOT.

Nightshade is not impressed

Why does this bother me so much?

If you're too lazy to click on the link, it's a Yahoo article about how some things are becoming increasingly obscure, and how babies born in 2011 won't know about these things when they grow up. They do have some good points - in my experience, fax machines go often unused, and dial-up Internet and encyclopedias aren't frequented - but some of this stuff is seriously ticking me off.



"Talking to one person at a time: Remember when it was rude to be with one person while talking to another on the phone? Kids born today will just assume that you're supposed to use texting to maintain contact with five or six other people while pretending to pay attention to the person you happen to be physically next to."

No. Just...no. If someone is in the middle of holding a conversation with me and they answer their phone (for a reason other than a very practical one, such as letting their mother know that they need to be picked up at 4:30, not 4:00), I immediately lose a fair amount of respect for them. If I'm not interested in talking to someone, I will not inform them of this by ignoring them and texting someone else. No matter who you're speaking to, that is so unbelievably, explicitly rude that I honestly can't believe people have the nerve to do that.

I don't care if they wave a hand and say "Oh, it's fine, just pick up, I'm okay with it;" it's not fine, and they're not okay with it. They were in the middle of speaking to you, and obviously they were willing to invest time and energy in speaking to you, so why would they suddenly drop you like a potato sack? Call me old-fashioned, but I still hold on to that old tradition - you know, the one where you actually give your friends the time of day and pay them the proper attention and respect that they deserve.




"Books, magazines, and newspapers: Like video tape, words written on dead trees are on their way out. Sure, there may be books -- but for those born today, stores that exist solely to sell them will be as numerous as record stores are now."

I think I can safely say that this is the one thing that people say about writing that ticks me off the most.

Let me say this loud and clear: Books are not useless. They are not fading into obscurity; they are not being replaced by the digital world. The text of the books may also be available in digital form, that's true, and I'm not ashamed to admit that yes, it's very convenient.

But nothing can replace the smell of ink and paper, the brush of pages falling through your fingers, the lines of letters marching across the page to form imagination personified. Nothing in the world can take away the magic of holding a book in your hands. Whether it be new or old, read once or reread a thousand times, in mint condition or battered and loved, a book is still a book. That simple stack of papers holds the key to the universe. It keeps you sane. It gives you hope. And best of all, it inspires more stories to be written into more books that can be printed on more paper and stacked on more shelves, for more readers to pick up and riffle through so they can start the cycle of ideas all over again.

So don't you dare tell me that books are becoming obscure. On the day that books become completely obsolete; on the day that there is not a single person in this entire world that will give even a scrap of attention, a second of their precious, hurried time, to that bundle of paper sitting quietly on a shelf, waiting for you to pick it up and indulge yourself in its story; at the time when humans become even more stupid and ignorant and blind to the beauty of the written words right in front of their eyes: that is the day that I will say I am wrong.

WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN.

HAPPY 2011, BLOGGERS! YASJFKLAWEJ TLAJR LTKJAW;4 TJOI4J TALEJRG;JAERJ85YO58Y OES

Ahem.

I can't believe it's 2011. What the heck is this? Where did 2010 go? It disappeared, guys. WE HAVE TO FIND IT.

In the meantime, I'll be at Disneyland on Monday. Not going back to school till Wednesday! YES.